THE SPIDER AND THE BUTTERFLY
I am assuming that more people prefer butterflies over spiders. To many, the butterfly is beautiful and graceful and the spider is scary and dangerous. I am sure spider lovers will disagree with this description. As the old proverb says, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” This proverb can also mean that there is always a different perspective, depending on who is looking. When a butterfly is caught in a spider’s web, it is food for the spider. Many would be inclined to save the butterfly because of its beauty but what about the spider? Doesn’t it deserve to eat what nature has provided for its survival?
Something I learned a long time ago from my teacher and mentor, Debbie Ford, is that transformation is a shift in perception. I strongly believe that our thoughts create our reality and everyone has a unique pair of lenses through which they view the world. With so many perspectives, how do we create more peace in our lives and in the world? I believe each one of us has to be willing to try on different pairs of lenses. How we choose to look at something determines how we feel and influences our behaviors.
There is so much separation in our country right now. There is so much judgment. There is so much hate. There is so much prejudice. There is so much pain. There is so much to be sad, disappointed, fearful, confusing and angry about. However, there is also so much to be grateful for. There is so much to be hopeful for. There are so many things to be joyful about. It all depends on which lenses you are wearing. Is the glass half empty or half full?
This is where we have CHOICE! We are all human beings and as human beings, we all have the ability to choose how we perceive what presents in front of us. Are you looking for what is right or what is wrong?
I have been teaching a course called, Step Into Your Confidence with The Right Questions which is based on Debbie Ford’s NY Time bestselling book, The Right Questions. One of the questions is “Are you looking for what is right or are you looking for what is wrong?” It is one of my favorite questions because it can quickly and easily move you out of playing victim or blaming others. Whenever I find myself complaining about someone or a situation, I quickly remind myself that in that moment I am looking for what is wrong and can choose to look for what is right. My daughter and I are flying to Asheville, NC right now and our flight was delayed 4 hours. The airline company kept changing the departure time. Our day’s plans got all messed up. In addition, I hurt my back 2 days prior and sitting is painful. I now had 4 more hours to sit……or not.
I started to look for what was is right. I was able to walk and stand as much as I needed to while in the airport. My daughter and I got to watch some shows we like. We had a great conversation with a gentleman sitting next to us. There was food and drinks if we wanted them. We were refunded $50.00 each on our ticket. WIFI was available and I was able to take care of a few things that needed my attention via phone and internet.
Looking for what is right is much better on your physical health and emotional well being. When we look for what is wrong, our bodies tense up. We activate the stress hormones which then affects the immune system. We also use up a lot of energy. More importantly, we affect those around us. Have you ever been around someone who is negative, complains and only points out what is wrong? I am sure you know someone like that. Do you spend a lot of time with this person? How do you feel when you are around them? How is your mood and energy level affected?
Next time you find yourself looking at what is wrong, think about all the different ways it robs you and others of peace. Practice looking for what is right and see how different you feel. Write the question somewhere you will see it often to create a new habit that can help in creating peace. Or better yet, get a tattoo of a spider and a tattoo of a butterfly to remind yourself that there is always a different perspective. This is what my personal trainer did! If you are not into body ink, then have something else that is symbolic for you and will help you remember. There is always a different perspective.
Living all of The Right Questions can help you create a more peaceful, authentic and fulfilled life.
“Just because you are right, does not mean, I am wrong. You just haven’t seen life from my side.” Anonymous