The New Paradigm to Fathering

The New Paradigm to Fathering

Times are changing.

Society is still holding onto their old paradigm beliefs and perspectives, but men are learning more and more that becoming a father is a completely different experience from even their own father's just a generation ago (if your father was even present in your life growing up).  Young men are lacking in mentors and elders that fulfill the role of passing on the masculine wisdom to the next generation of fathers. Some of us didn't have much of an example and the examples that currently exist don't tend to resonate with us in a deep way. Especially looking at the ways specifically America goes about the ways of parenting and relationships. A big factor is a disconnection towards our emotions. Most men are struggling to express themselves in a genuine and good way because we have been hardwired for many generations to suppress our emotions because expressing emotions apparently present weakness. As time goes on, we begin to learn that this just isn't true. It actually makes us weaker and less capable when we are not in tune with our emotions as a man. The ability to connect with our partners is utterly impossible since we don't know how to work through our emotional triggers and find understanding. Instead, we defend, shut down, or run away... Fight, flight, or freeze.

More men are feeling lost and incapable of being the father, husband, or partner we are being asked and sometimes forced to be. So most men run. We run because it is the easy solution and mostly because we have become used to the option of running as an answer. It is the easier option. Why is the number of single mommas on the rise? Why is there this constant pattern of children growing up without their fathers? We are beginning to see how these influences affect children during the most crucial times of their lives where they absorb their hardwiring foundation of who they are to become. We as this new generation of fathers are feeling called to take action and break these old paradigm patterns. What does it mean to be a present father and partner today considering we still follow old paradigm ways? How can you be more present for your child? How can you be a genuinely supportive and loving partner to your pregnant Queen or mother of your children? Why do we feel so stuck? Why do we feel so lost? Where are the answers?

This is a conversation and struggle that seems so taboo for so many people to discuss. It seems we are just supposed to suck it up and continually sacrifice our well being without understanding why. And to me, this sounds like insanity and a very dark road to walk towards more destruction, heartache, stress, and depression. I believe the first step to bringing forth realistic solutions is beginning by admitting that something has to change and be willing to discuss why we feel changes need to occur. The mommas don't just need a partner to provide any more. They need Presence, they need Support, they need Compassion, they need Patience, they need Love. And the same goes for the men who are putting the right foot forward towards figuring this out for themselves, their partner, and the world. Men need help exploring their emotions because is it a completely unknown territory for many and without support and empowerment to do so, we will continually fun from the deep inner work. 

I send my Love and Gratitude to all the men and women out there who are being vulnerable and making the effort to redefine themselves in a society that doesn't like to look in the mirror. Please try to remember throughout your struggles and process that you are not alone and you are doing some deep healing work for yourself and your family. Now is time to break patterns that no longer serve us is a healthy and loving way. Be the change you wish to see and begin the process of defining the Life you truly desire to live with your family. 

Times are changing.

Questions are surfacing.

Solutions are coming.

We are evolving.

Love is Prevailing.