Self-sabotage is a killer of dreams.
Have you ever tried to break a habit or achieve a goal and found that you’re your own worst enemy? You set out with great intentions to make a change, and your own self-destructive tendencies make it difficult if not impossible to follow through. You wonder, “Why do I sabotage myself?”
If that describes you, you’re not alone. Many people feel weighed down by warring tendencies, even when they really want to make positive changes in their lives.
Jennifer Nelson writes:
Self-sabotage most commonly appears in quick-fix behaviors like shopping when you need to save or get out of debt, starting flings with unavailable partners when you’re looking for “the one,” comfort eating when trying to lose weight or refusing to risk failure when you want to succeed.
It can feel like you have a whole city living inside you, all with their own goals and agendas. There’s the child — who usually wants what she wants — and now! Then there’s the boss, who demands that things get done in a certain way — and is quite stern about the schedule. Then there’s the dreamer, who would rather be doing anything but working. There may be a parent trying to keep everyone on task. And the list goes on and on and on.
In the midst of all that, it’s hard for you to get them on the same page and pulling in the same direction.
One or more of these parts of your self may be sabotaging you from reaching your goal.
For example, let’s say you want to lose weight (I prefer to call it “release weight,” because people don’t like to “lose” things). You know all you need to know about what to eat, how much to exercise, and all the rest. But no matter how much you know or what you decide, you still reach for that sweet or feel just too tired to go to the gym. For reasons you can’t quite put your finger on — you can’t do what you know you want to do.
John Drury writes:
Self-sabotage strategies range from procrastinating, self-medicating with one drug or another, finding solace in comfort foods instead of exercise, unhealthy habits, poor self-management and a range of other conscious and unconscious destructive behaviors.
So, why do we self-sabotage?
There is a part of you that keeps getting in the way. Until the needs and demands of that part are dealt with, you are mostly doomed to keep repeating the same self-sabotaging behaviors.
How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Behavior
Hypnosis can help you overcome self-sabotage.
Hypnosis allows you to deal with all the various coping strategies you’ve developed over the years (that appear as characters in your subconscious mind), each one with its own preferred method of dealing with your problems. In the weight-loss example, it may be that one part of you feels happier while eating ice cream. Another part might be demoralized by the difficulty of starting an exercise program. Neither one has any interest in your long-term plans for better health. And neither is likely to be persuaded by rational explanations of why you want to release weight.
During your parts therapy session, I will bring out each part of you that is determined to sabotage your success and find out why. When you understand what needs are not being met, you can find ways to meet those needs without undermining your goals.
I will also talk to the part that is determined to succeed. I help lead the sabotaging part and the motivated part to some kind of agreement.
Through hypnosis, we explore your past, to find out what created the problem to begin with. Together, we address it, reframe it, and help you start living life as you desire.
Although this might sound bizarre, it works. It works because it all takes place inside your subconscious, where all your feelings, beliefs, and memories reside.
Through this process, the motivating part of you becomes stronger and more determined. And the parts of you that were formerly at war with your success are quieted and comforted in some way that doesn’t work against you.