I have always been described as a Type A person. What does that mean? Actually, I think it means someone who runs around all the time doing things and getting her list completed. It made me feel good about myself to be able to point to that list at the end of the day. People would describe me as organized and ‘on my game’. I’m pretty sure my kids would look at me in a different light, as the mother who was always in a rush because we were ‘going to be late.’ I was always trying to fit that extra errand in before we went home for dinner.
Then one day I realized that maybe, just maybe there was more to life than checking items off the list. It all felt empty somehow. I realized that I had this weird relationship with time where I never quite had enough of it. The list was endless and the minutes kept ticking away. I just couldn’t get ahead of it. How many years had I been running in place trying to complete a list that could never be completed?
During this period of time, I had been reading about meditation and all it’s benefits. It could change the brain by adding more gray matter. Meditation had been shown to shrink the amygdala, which helped reduce the stress reaction. Lower blood pressure and inflammation levels, reduced cortisol levels, reduced rates of heart attack and stroke are just a few of the reported benefits of meditation. Well who didn’t want to lower their stress levels and along with that their disease risk? If we only had the time……
So I decided to try meditation and see what would happen. I started with the Deepak and Oprah 21 Day Free meditation experience series. Each day I would receive a new 20-minute meditation. All I had to do was find the time to stop and listen. After 21 days, if you like what you heard, you could buy package and listen all over again. I felt like the Deepak/Oprah 21 Day Experiences were just perfect for me. All I had to do was sit still. Once I got started I was hooked. They had done all the work. I just sat back and took in their amazing insight about how the world worked and how I worked in the world. It didn’t matter whether the subject was Energy, Flow, Weight Loss or Gratitude each 21 day experience was well constructed and full of insight. It made sense to me and helped me to navigate my life a little easier each day.
Before I knew it, my relationship with time had changed from a battle to a relationship of ease. I found that as I spent more time with myself, I accepted myself a bit more. With acceptance came peace. With peace came calm. Over time, I realized it didn’t matter whether the list was 1 item or 10 items, I would get to it when I got to it. The priorities somehow became more obvious and the little things seemed less important somehow. It’s true that when you carve time out of your busy day, you seem to get more time back in some weird way. I still have my lists, I still have my frustrations over not completing it, but there’s more ebb and flow to my list and I enjoy each task a little more.