In my work, I am often asked, why people repeat unhealthy patterns over and over again. Why we continuously find ourselves in relationships with unavailable partners, why we lose all the weight, only to regain it again. Why we parent our children in a way we were parented, even if we vowed to raise our children differently.
I used to work in child protection where we would see these patterns play out in front of us almost daily. A woman that was sexually abused, and vowed to protect her own children, yet unable to see the warning signs of her own children suffering abuse. Parents that were raised by abusive parents, and promised themselves to raise their children differently, yet fell into abusive patterns anyway. Men that watched their fathers abuse their mothers, promising to love their spouse from a healthy place, yet slipping into abusive behavior themselves.
Because of our experiences in life, we start to see the world through a filtered lens and we develop blind spots. We create internal dialogues about our experiences and we accept these stories and beliefs as the truth. We then continue to carry all of this conditioning on a deep subconscious level. Most of the time, this running dialogue is so deeply buried that we are completely unaware of it. We may wish for things to be a certain way, but on an internal level we attract the things we are often most afraid of.
All of life is made up of energy. Certainly us humans, animals, plant life, but even the computer on which I write this, or the chair I am sitting on. Quantum physics teaches us that everything is energy vibrating at a certain frequency, including our thoughts, both conscious and unconscious. Like energy attracts like energy. High vibrations attract other high vibrations and low vibrations attract low vibration. This is the basis of the law of attraction.
If we are thinking that we would like to attract more money and we proclaim that out loud, yet on a deeper subconscious level, we carry the belief that we are not worthy or we fear lack of money, we are emitting that energetic vibration out into the world. Fear by its very nature is of a low vibration and therefore we attract more fear and lack into our life, even though verbally we are proclaiming our desire for an abundant life.
Relationship patterns are the same. We all vibrate at a certain level. Again, like frequency attracts like frequency. If we are searching for a partner that is loving, present, loyal and committed, yet subconsciously we are afraid that if we love somebody they might leave us, then we are again emitting a low vibration frequency out into the world. What we then attract is a partner that likely will leave, lacks loyalty and commitment despite the fact that it is the opposite of what we consciously want.
What then makes these subconscious thoughts, beliefs and conditioning more powerful than the thoughts we are consciously carrying and verbalizing? Our subconscious mind is always in action. The thoughts, the fears, the beliefs are always running in the background of our daily lives. Because we are rarely conscious of them, they go unchecked and therefore these subconscious beliefs may be repeating themselves hundreds of times a day, thousands of times a week, millions of times in a year. By verbalizing our desires, yet letting our false beliefs run subconsciously, our words and conscious thoughts are unable to counter the low frequency running behind the scenes every minute of every day. It is this internal dynamic that determines our external reality.
What can we do about these false beliefs running our lives? How do we turn off this internal dialogue. Especially, if we are not even aware of what these thoughts may be, how they were formed or how to transform them. There are some steps we can take immediately to bring our external reality in line with our true desires.
1) Awareness! I always come back to this being the first step. Take a good look at your life circumstance. Are you working day and night to earn money, yet there is never enough of it to go around? Are you putting your all into a relationship, yet it seems to be falling apart? Are you starting diet after diet, yet you keep gaining weight? These are some of the signs that let you know that there is a deeper dynamic at work. Any area of your life that you feel is out of alignment with what you desire is a likely place for a deeply hidden subconscious false belief.
2) Be still! In the stillness we can start hearing our internal dialogue. Meditation is a wonderful tool to separate our thoughts from our deeper inner reality. When we allow ourselves to sit in silence for 15 minutes a day, we start becoming aware of patterns, false beliefs, conditioning and unresolved emotions and trauma that are creating our external reality.
3) Tune in! Start paying attention to your emotions. Are you feeling joyful, expanded and openhearted? Then you are very likely operating in a consciously connected way. Your inner reality, your subconscious mind, is projecting the high frequency of truth, joy and authenticity. Are you feeling fearful, anxious, stressed and depressed? Your subconscious is likely operating from a place of lack, fear, separation and false beliefs. How are you feeling in your relationship? Which part of you is showing up? Are you connecting from a place of love or fear? How are you feeling when you are earning money? Joyful and abundant or afraid that the money will run out again and there will be lack? The next time you are eating food, are you eating out of a sense of self-love and nurturing your body or are you feeling anxious and scared? By tuning in to our emotion, we can start noticing, if there is a false belief running the show behind the scenes.
4) Raise your vibration! There are clear action steps that have been shown to help raise our vibration. Drink plenty of water. Water is a powerful conduit for energy and makes up most of our body. Eat healthy, un-processed food whenever you can. If you eat meat, try to buy organic, grass fed meat from animals that were treated humanely. Take a walk in nature, dance and sing. These are all activities that will raise your vibration. Keep a gratitude journal. Being cognizant and thankful for all the good in your life is a powerful way to raise your vibration.
Doing any of the above steps, will start the process of raising your vibration and aligning your inner and outer reality. If however, you find yourself still getting stuck in the muck, if your conditioning and false beliefs are holding you hostage in a life that is not aligned with how you want to live. Then please, reach out to me! As a holistic life coach I can be a powerful ally in releasing your limiting beliefs and conditioned thinking, so you may live a life of abundance, joy and purpose!