Despite our better efforts, ‘change’ can often come across as a big, bad, behemoth of a word. Calling to mind any tidbit of transformation can create a little anxiety, foster a little fear. That new diet we meant to start in January? Those new sports we intended to take up this spring? The way we wanted our relationships to change? Somehow, amidst those six simple letters …C…H…A…N…G…E… are cultural connotations of calamity, instability, and uncertainty (*insert audible gasps of horror, here*). Let’s face it: no one likes change.
The truth of the matter is, there is an evolutionary advantage at the heart of all that resistance. Unbeknownst to you, there are thousands upon thousands of years of biology preprogramming you to have an initial, innate aversion to change. Imagine this: an ancient, roving tribe stumbles upon a brand new bush, lush and loaded with tiny, beautiful blackberries. It looks different. It smells different. They’ve never seen it before. Do they eat the new, unknown fruit? Do they change their diet?
Those who don’t leave their comfort zone and consume those glossy black berries manage to avoid intense nausea, fatigue, muscle failure and hallucinations now commonly associated with atropa belladonna, or nightshade. Having an aversion to something new became an asset for those early peoples. And those early peoples inevitably became your ancestors. You could say you’ve inherited a long line of the gene ‘scared of change!’
Its time to buck that biological, back-grabbing monkey!
Three Simple Steps to Shed Your Fear and Start Something New
1. The first step to creating glorious, grand, and oft-times scary change is to first become aware of that deep physical aversion. Can you feel how tight and anxious just thinking about the next step can make you? Do you see how it makes your body hunch? Can you hear how shallow and small your breath becomes? Somato Respiratory Integration, especially the Stage 1 exercise, is great for helping you tap into this!
2. Once you are aware of the physical and emotional way change can affect you, begin to acknowledge it. Say “I can feel myself get anxious” “I am scared” “Change makes me feel small” or any other statement that rings true for your own, unique, reaction to change.
3. And then, the magic of the third step: accept it! While you’re in the midst of the sometimes scary experience of newness… of uncertainty… of the unknown… remember all the millions of folks who have come before you. Recognize that this reaction was once an appropriate adaptation. Accept that, sometimes, you will feel scared and hesitant when broached with something different. Because, in the end, your body can associate ‘different’ with ‘dangerous.’ Accept it. Its okay!
By accepting exactly where you are at you can transition through it, moving forward, and shedding your old fear. After awareness has blossomed, acknowledgment has happened, and acceptance has occurred you can step forward and start to create change!
Whats the best way for YOU to start movin’ n shakin’?
Although you may not yet know it there is a perfect, energy-rich, efficient, and effortless way for you to approach change. And this amazing approach is unique unto you! We all have special ways of initiating and dealing with change, and the key is to identify what ways and strategies work best for you. Remember when it was so easy to start, and the newness just seemed to seam effortlessly into your life? And also remember a different time, when the change seems to drag you down and pull you under?
The truth of the matter is: in the first example you were probably using a perfect sequencing of strategies, and in the second they get all jumbled. We, at The Well Being Center (and in other Network offices around the world) call this strategy sequences the Triad of Change. As Dr. Donald Epstein put it, “All change includes structure, behavior, and perception. Plainly stated, for each structure, there is an accompanying behavior and perception; for each behavior, there is a structure and a perception; and, for each perception, there are certain structures and behaviors that define and support it.”
Having magnificent and manageable experiences of transition, transformation, and change is all about the order in which you use the pieces of perception, behavior, and structure. Its important to note, there is no ‘right’ way to order them, only what is right for you!
So how do you know what’s right for you? Are you ready to start your energy-rich experience of something new?! Check out our Learning Center and read more about the Triad of Change. Schedule an entrainment. We will help you find what works best for you!
Prepare to say sayonara to that silly and scared monkey on your back! Get ready to dance your way to and through your next big change with grace, connectedness, and ease!
I’ll see you soon.
Written by Dr. Nicole