It happens countless times during your lifetime. Sometimes its consciously chosen, and some times it isn't. Ultimately it brings you back to a starting point. And when we find ourselves back at a starting point more than once we tend call it starting over.
Sometimes everything comes unraveled and we start over with nothing but who we are, other times we have a few resources and familiar things we carry forward. There are also those times when the world outside us remains mostly unchanged while our inner world goes through deep inner transformation.
Ultimately, through each of these we learn and grow by leaps and bounds. Yet, sometimes, on the onset of such change we can feel like we’re once again standing in a familiar spot and thinking “here I go again” (an eye roll and a shake of the head often accompanies such a thought), feeling vulnerable and maybe even wondering how we ended up here . . . again.
One of the most valuable things we over look is all the experience we bring into this new “starting over” space. Not just the experience of “how” to do things, but the experience that shapes who we are, how we think, respond and act. What beliefs we hold because of our experiences, and what things we no longer do because we have learned to do them differently for different results.
Close to home examples in my life are my career and business. I’ve had several corporate jobs over the years before starting my business. Each time I changed jobs I was at a staring over point. Yet, into each job I took my previous experience. It was often this previous experience that helped me find better positions and earn more money. Usually I chose to initiate the “start over” sequence in my career, although there were two exceptions. One was when I was laid off, and the other when I was fired.
When you don’t see a “start over” as being your choice it can be harder to accept. Yet the same experience and wisdom you use when the “start over” is your choice is still available and perhaps more important to recognize when you don’t feel you had a choice. It’s a matter of working through the negative or victim thoughts that often accompany a situation where you feel like you didn’t have a choice and coming out the other side centered and grounded in your authentic self.
I began my business as a Reiki practitioner and Life Coach. When horses came into my life I “rebranded” (a business type of start-over) to Fire Horse Ranch and expanded by offerings and services, building on my previous business experience and services. In 2018, I once again found myself having a “how did I get back here” moment triggered by all the outside pieces of my life being shaken up and moved around, as well many of the internal part of myself as well. Some of these were my choice, some where circumstances beyond my control. Over the past year I've found myself carefully selecting what pieces to bring forward in my latest "start over".
During times when everything seems to have come undone it can be hard to remain positive, look at the bright side, and stand solid in your truth and experience. Yet, walking through the shadow is a valuable part of the process, and undoubtedly adds to the unshakable wisdom and experience that guides you through the starting over process the next time you experience it.
Here are 3 things you can do to recognize the wisdom and experience you have to guide you forward:
- Write a list of all the things you learned since the last time you had a 'start over' experience.
- Decide which are of value to you in this experience.
- Create a positive affirmation using one of the things in #2. Start the affirmation with 'I Am'. Here are a few examples: I am confident in my ability to set boundaries. I am managing my money better than ever. I am making choices that are a reflection of my values.
Ultimately, it's the perspective through which you choose to view the experience that makes all the difference, no matter the situation. One perspective may hold you captive, a prisoner of the situation, while another perspective will give your the freedom to move forward, implementing the wisdom and experience you've gained over the years. I don't know about you, but I'll take freedom!