Acceptance vs. Giving Up or Settling
A question I get asked a lot during my session is, “If I accept where I am right now, how do I know it’s not settling?” Other clients are fearful if they accept what is and enjoy where they are right now, then they will not be motivated to make changes in their lives.
There are a few ways to tell the difference between settling/giving up or acceptance. When you give up, you tell yourself or others, “I did my best, and it didn’t work, so I am not going to try anymore” Or “What’s the point it never works out anyway!”
The intention/feeling/energy behind the action is very different than when you are accepting.
Acceptance in these same situations would be “I am doing my best, and this is where I am now. “Let me check and see if I want what I am working towards, why I want this, and what I can do differently. (moving forward)” or “What I am doing here isn’t working, is this really what I want? Or is, am I going in the right direction?
Pausing and questioning where you are is not giving up.
We are often in doing mode most of the time and don’t think about our actions. It is essential for us as human beings to step back and assess where we are going, what we are doing, and really question if we are want to continue or take a different route. Living consciously instead of unconsciously involved questioning, acceptance of where we are, and then consciously choosing our next steps.
There are also times when the acceptance does mean it’s time to stop. It is time to go inward and accept where you are right now. Stop and see what is going on around you, what is working well for you, what are you grateful for right now. Some examples of this are if you choose to stay in your current job even though it is not what you want long term. If you have done the work to search for another position, or also researched your options and you realized you are better off where you are, then that is acceptable — acknowledging that you are choosing to stay in your job because it is the best option for you right now. In this situation, giving up would be knowing there is a job or type of job that you want, maybe even finding it and not trying to make the transition.
What do you need to accept in your life today? What have you been fighting?
For me, it is my body. My whole life, I have been on diets and done so much abuse to my body because I don’t like how it looks. I have always been curvy and have worked out most of my life. I know I eat healthy food to nourish my body most of the time, and that I exercise to keep my body healthy. I am working on accepting my body the way it is, being grateful for all that it allows me to do in a day, and continuing to improve my workouts.
If you need support in acceptance or moving forward in a new direction, then we need to talk. Apply here for a complimentary 45-minute clarity session.